It’s 2019

and I’ve decided to give you a blog !!!

I don’t even know where to begin … so much has happened and is happening that I can’t possibly go into all the details, so as usual you get a summary and you’ll be fuckin happy about it, males.

Thailand. How can I describe Thailand ? My first time, and using My newly acquired dual citizen passport was EXCITING !!! I flew business class direct to Phuket and had a car waiting to pick Me up. I ended up extending My trip because it was THAT amazing. the weather was incredible — 87 degrees sunny and NOT that humid every single day I was there. I don’t remember sleeping that much at all. Let’s talk about My Villa though — beautiful outdoor bathroom, where most of My time was spent, with My own private pool. I didn’t spend that much time inside the villa at all except to sleep a few hours here and there. My marble bathtub was filled with Lush bath bombs EVERY single night, and I swam naked most of the time. EVERYTHING went perfectly, not even a small hitch in any plans. ventured out to Patong Beach one night and didn’t get back to resort until almost 5am !!! I ate sooo much AMAZING THAI FOOD, cleaned out the mini bar like every single day. the bill of course was NOT paid for by ME 😀 that was ag_owned’s job and he PAID so hard this year. I think the end of trip bill was like $2200 or something. I don’t think that it was THAT bad considering it was 7 or 8 days in fuckin PARADISE. it as literally the best vacation I’ve ever had. I relaxed and sunned My buns and chilled.

Can you imagine Me – just walking around naked, sun kissed and tipsy ? you wish you were there serving Me and My side piece don’t you ? It’s only natural you serve the natural order of things. you’re a weak male who loves to be humiliated by a beautiful Woman. ACCEPT your fate – and one day you too can pay for My best life experiences. that’s your GIFT, bitch.

Also, upon coming back to the dreary midwest, I decided NOW is the time to make movessssss to making My life even more golden and decided to move to CA in June. so I’m purging and packing up My giant house and getting the FUCK outta here. I’m so excited to be near WATER year round and the diversity and liberal lifestyle that I’ve been missing.

In January I went to visit KATIE SAVAGE in Texas for a weekend, it had been TOO long since we got together for giggles. we didn’t have a lot of time together, but she will probably be My first guest to CA where we really can get downnnnn. I lost My wallet that weekend, which made for an interesting airport visit, but all went well. the weather was amazing there, and I had the cutest airbnb ( that I didn’t pay for — actually I had a GC from airbnb for like 3 years from aussie admirer that I had been holding on to ) I think we got lost, I yelled at My side piece and drank My face off. another fun weekend LOL — I also went to CA for a weekend and was also on the hunt for a new side piece. LOL #pettyastheycome

Oh yeah here is some BIRTHMAS cash … I think it was close to $14k 😀

I put up some new NITEFLIRT GOODY BAGS and you can buy them HERE ! and remember, instead of TRYING to slide into My DM’s on TWITTER — you can text chat with Me HERE. I’m also thinking about bringing back #FriWorshipCam, so keep your dumb eyes peeled on My Twitter to find out when that will be happening you lucky wallets. My infamous WISHLIST is still poppin, however, with the move – I won’t be that focused on it, but you can ALWAYS send Me Amazon GC’s — they are always accepted.

That’s it for now My weak readers — usually I would list off ALL the numerous gifts and tributes, but I can’t be bothered by that tbh – so now it’s time to do your JOB and maybe I’ll get you an update sooner than six months later 😀 making ME happy makes your dumbstick happy, bitch.